So you went through a divorce? So what? Many men have gone through far worse events in their lives and have come out the other side able to create a better future for themselves. Even after suffering losses in the divorce process, the potential of creating a new and better life for yourself still very much exists.
Whether it is changing the way you think about saving money or changing the way you spend money, you are capable of taking what you have and creating more. Your assets may have been divided, but you cannot allow that action to define the entirety of your financial future.
In calculating your annual income and taking out the necessary amounts for daily expenses and any alimony or child support you might be paying, you can better predict the amount of time it will take to recover and give you realistic expectations that fit the uniqueness of your situation.
Contact your attorney
You also can help your financial situation by consulting with your family law attorney and filing for modification. Your family law attorney already should understand the uniqueness of your situation and may be able to offer insight on how to accomplish any goals you are looking to set for yourself.
They also have all of the ability to fight for your cause, focusing on your needs. If you are looking to reassess spousal or child support, they have the ability to represent you in court to the best of their abilities.
Children and custody
If you have custody of your child, you have the ability to be the parent that you want to be. You have the opportunity to be there for them through this difficult, transitional time in their life and be the shoulder for them to lean on when times get the hardest.
Unfortunately, many fathers are not always given the opportunity to be the fathers that they wish to be, due to outdated gender stereotypes that pervade the family court system. Their rights and responsibilities are dictated to them, rather than allowing them the opportunity to present an argument, just as valid as their co-parent’s, as to why they deserve just as much of a chance to be a primary caregiver of their children.
The emotional difficulty that fathers go through, as they watch a system intended to offer fairness to an emotionally volatile situation, cannot be understated. However, once the child custody arrangement and parenting plan are ironed out, life as a parent can take shape, and you can focus on your future moving forward.
Lost in the shuffle of the divorce experience is the potential that life after divorce entails. As difficult as the financial situation or the parenting plan may be, life is full of so many different and exciting possibilities. While some of them may not be doable right away, there are others that you can explore, in order to create a happier life.
You may have questions about life after divorce, but those are to be expected. While many of the questions like where you should live or what you should do about some of your marital property that may no longer fit in your new home will be answered over time, others you will have to decide on sooner rather than later.
There may be questions regarding whether or not you want to live in the same area or if you would be interested in pursuing a new job, to go along with your new life. These are questions that you need to address, because they affect some of the legal aspects of your post-divorce life.
You may wish to move across state lines, requiring a discussion between you and your ex-spouse, if you share children. Settling any concerns with maturity is a necessary evil in reaching your goal. There is no need to rehash the emotional weight of your divorce when sorting this out.
You may look to start a new job, pursuing a different career path or following a forgotten passion in your life. You also may look to pick up a new hobby or attempt one that you used to enjoy. You may look to reconnect with friends that your former spouse did not approve of.
Whatever the case may be, you have the ability to reach new heights in your new life. Divorce does not mark the end of your life, but the beginning of a new one. You have the opportunity to create a whole new routine for yourself, in order to reach your full potential, but it is up to you to do it.
Dan Pearce is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell Planning Partners. He has written countless pieces on MensDivorce.com, detailing the plight of men and fathers going through the divorce experience, as well as the issues seniors and their families experience throughout the estate planning journey on ElderCareLaw.com. Mr. Pearce has managed websites and helped create content, such as the Men’s Divorce Newsletter and the YouTube series, “Men’s Divorce Countdown.” He also has been a contributor on both the Men’s Divorce Podcast and ElderTalk with TuckerAllen.
Mr. Pearce assisted in fostering a Cordell Planning Partners practice area specific for Veterans, as they deal with the intricacies of their benefits while planning for the future. He also helped create the Cordell Planning Partners Resource Guide and the Cordell Planning Partners Guide to Alternative Residence Options, specific for seniors with questions regarding their needs and living arrangements.