In the worst marital situations imaginable, the ability to legally end a toxic union is a humane response to an impossible set of circumstances. In situations of physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse, divorce can be the light at the end of the punishing tunnel that was a dysfunctional marriage.
In situations where finances are abused and the lines of fidelity no longer exist in the union, damaging the confidence and self-worth of the afflicted spouse, divorce is an opportunity to escape a poisonous environment.
These moments of clarity that reveal the necessity of ending an unhappy situation are moments that could be spent in a better set of circumstances, if they were realized earlier. Debating whether or not to pursue the option of divorce is a decision that should not be reached flippantly. However, if you are able to recognize the need to take action, you may find yourself in a healthier set of circumstances sooner.
Contacting your attorney
This requires the aid of a family law attorney who is able to protect you and your interests during this arduous experience.
Divorce can be challenging, and contacting family law attorneys who focus on the needs of men and fathers can be a beneficial step in securing a better future. They understand that it is not just women who can find themselves trapped in a toxic marriage.
Those who find themselves in toxic relationships face greater health risks. In a study that followed more than 10,000 subjects for over 12 years, researchers found that those in negative relationships were at a greater risk for developing heart problems, including fatal cardiac events, than those who were not in negative relationships.
Another study, published in the social research journal, Social Forces, measured unhappy marriages over a 12-year period and found that remaining in an unhappy marriage is associated with significantly lower levels of life satisfaction, self-esteem, overall happiness, and overall health among those with elevated levels of psychological distress, compared to remaining otherwise continuously married.
The study also indicated that staying unhappily married is more detrimental than divorcing, due to the evidence that people in low-quality marriages are less happy than individuals who divorce and remarry. These individuals also display a lower level of life satisfaction, self-esteem and overall health than individuals who divorce and remain unmarried.
An additional study, published in the medical journal, JAMA Internal Medicine, examined the association between the negative aspects of close relationships and the increased risk for coronary heart disease.
This study found that adverse close relationships may increase the risk of heart disease. Their results indicated that poor marital quality was a predictive factor for myocardial infarction and congestive heart failure. They found that negative exchanges among spouses were associated with negative impacts involving daily mood, well-being, mental health, physical functioning, and sickness absence.
These health risks indicated by the various studies associated with a toxic relationship not only threaten the health of someone going through the divorce experience, but also threaten the health and well-being of those in healthy relationships.
Making bad decisions
We do not always make the most beneficial decisions to our overall health, especially in relationships. Finding a partner who loves and supports you requires a process of weeding out those who do not.
At times, these unhealthy relationships are not realized until after a marital commitment takes places, displaying the necessity of the institution of divorce. These unhealthy relationships can affect all of those inside the household, including any children caught in the crossfires of a toxic marriage.
Children in the middle
While child custody and child support can be challenging issues to deal with, they pale in comparison to the damage that a toxic household where Mom and Dad are constantly fighting with one another can do.
Staying together solely for the sake of the children can have lasting consequences down the line and affect their development. Children cannot establish a sense of stability in their environment with the constant question if their parents will or won’t get a divorce, according to Divorce Magazine.
In households where parents are constantly fighting, the children have to deal with the chronic tension of the situation, which can cause them to internalize the conflict and blame themselves. This can destabilize their sense of self, which is not healthy in a child’s development. All of this can cause a child to become moody and lose their sense of security within the family dynamic, making them distrusting.
In an environment where marital discord becomes a norm, the toxicity of the dynamic between the two spouses makes it untenable and unhealthy for everyone living under that roof. Divorce has to be an option, in order to promote the health and wellness of stable relationships.
Many may suggest the option of counseling in an effort to rebuild a fractured marriage, and while that is an option that should be considered and employed by those who are willing to work on their damaged union, it is not necessarily for everyone.
Many consider their relationship too broken to be repaired, and that happens. Not every relationship can be fixed, making divorce a necessary step in the process of healing and moving on to a healthier future.
Eliminating that possibility slams the door to those vulnerable to the damages of a toxic relationship and prevents them from creating a better future for themselves and their children.
Dan Pearce is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell Planning Partners. He has written countless pieces on MensDivorce.com, detailing the plight of men and fathers going through the divorce experience, as well as the issues seniors and their families experience throughout the estate planning journey on ElderCareLaw.com. Mr. Pearce has managed websites and helped create content, such as the Men’s Divorce Newsletter and the YouTube series, “Men’s Divorce Countdown.” He also has been a contributor on both the Men’s Divorce Podcast and ElderTalk with TuckerAllen.
Mr. Pearce assisted in fostering a Cordell Planning Partners practice area specific for Veterans, as they deal with the intricacies of their benefits while planning for the future. He also helped create the Cordell Planning Partners Resource Guide and the Cordell Planning Partners Guide to Alternative Residence Options, specific for seniors with questions regarding their needs and living arrangements.