Divorce is not always an occurrence that goes away once the decree is finalized. It is an event that can come up without intention. You could be focused on something else going on in your life, and all of the sudden, you get an email or text message from your ex-spouse asking for more money or telling you that your children cannot make your regularly scheduled parenting time.
These types of occurrences can weigh on you, especially when you are doing everything you can to move on from the emotional stress that the divorce process entailed.
Dealing with these feelings in healthy and productive ways is essential in creating a life after divorce. You need to construct a post-divorce recovery plan that involves methods of dealing with these feelings when these types of situations arise.
Here are three methods of dealing with those feelings:
1. Seek the help of a mental health professional when sorting through your post-divorce feelings.
There are so many methods of dealing with post-divorce feelings that may feel good at the time, but can end horribly. There also are range of feelings and mental illnesses that can detract from your recovery. They can be dangerous to your overall health and well-being and lead you down some dark paths if left unacknowledged.
Many who exit divorce develop anxiety and depression from the emotionally strenuous experience. These feelings, coupled with feelings of inadequacy, can spiral out of control to the point of suicide rather quickly.
According to studies from the University of California, Riverside, divorced men and women are at a higher risk of suicide than married men and women. Divorced and separated persons were over twice as likely to commit suicide, in comparison to married persons. More specifically, the risk of suicide among divorced men was over twice as likely as that of married men, whereas in women, there was no statistical difference in married and divorced women.
This is why it is vital for those struggling with their feelings after divorce to seek the help of a mental health professional. Despite the gendered ideals of masculinity regarding help-seeking, you are not less of a man or less of yourself for asking for help.
The aid of a therapist can allow you to be the best version of yourself by tearing down the very weakness that the preconceived notions point to as reasons for not going to therapy in the first place. This will make you healthier and help you avoid all of the mental health risks that life after divorce can entail.
2.Avoid unhealthy and unproductive ways of dealing with post-divorce feelings.
In hopes of forging a better life for yourself and your children, it is important to avoid any unhealthy habits that may develop after your divorce is finalized.
One of the more dangerous habits you may develop after your divorce is finalized is seclusion. Whatever your feelings may be that entice you to pursue seclusion, they discount the friends and family that you have in your life. They discount your job and pursuit of a career that will fulfill you and give you added purpose. They discount the future that you can build and future relationships that you may develop.
Life does not end just because you got a divorce, so why allow your divorce to end your other relationships?
Additionally, avoid unhealthy outlets to channel your feelings into. Men can sometimes experience weight gain, develop sleep disorders, and develop eating disorders during and after divorce. You may pick up smoking or excessive drinking during this challenging time. The stress of the entire experience can cause an increased risk of heart disease and a lowered life expectancy.
For your overall health and wellness, it is vital that you find more productive methods of processing your feelings.
3. Find ways that focus on you and promote self-improvement.
This can be challenging, especially for those who feel set in their ways, but it is important to look for ways to improve yourself after your divorce is finalized.
There are many ways of going about this. While everyone may be after achieving that “revenge body,” meal prepping and exercise are excellent ways of improving your physical health. You may find yourself exploring new hobbies or new interests that you never previously had.
With these methods of self-improvement, the knowledge to avoid post-divorce risks, and the help of a mental health professional, you can be armed with all of the tools necessary to deal with your feelings when your divorce comes up.