Before your divorce, your life may have included your marriage, but that was not the defining aspect of your life. You still grew up, went to school, had friends, had relationships, had jobs, had a place where you lived, and had a personality and emotional makeup not defined by your significant other.
Not that you need to prove it, but the life you maintained before your marriage is proof that you can thrive after your divorce. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding your divorce decree, you have the potential for success in a life without your ex-spouse.
That said, you will need help achieving that level of success in the form of a family law attorney, who can handle your case and put your post-divorce life in a position for the maximum amount of success. They will be the partner you need to help you navigate the complex waters before, during, and after your divorce is finalized.
Patience is key
Even if you consider yourself to be in a position where you are starting from scratch, your life is neither doomed nor over. You still have the opportunity to change your fate over time.
While patience may not have been your strongest suit before or during the course of your marriage, it may have to be something that you learn in your post-divorce life. As challenging as it may be, recovering from the financial losses of the divorce process requires the time, patience, and ability to save.
While saving may not always be linearly possible, it can be a cyclical exercise that can help your financial wellness and promote smart spending habits.
While you may think of everything in your life based on what you no longer have or what you may no longer be able to afford, it is not the healthiest of mental health practices. You need to focus on the positives of post-divorce life, especially if you are a father.
You have the ability to provide your children a home without the anger, resentment, and toxicity that an unhappy and dysfunctional marriage can include. While the notion of providing a home with two loving parents sounds ideal, it does not work if those two parents have a relationship that lends itself to volatility.
You have a chance to be the ideal parent to them and give them a loving home. No matter how much parenting time you have with them, you have a chance to make that time count, taking an active role in their lives. You get to go to their basketball games or parent-teacher conferences. You can help them with their homework or study for a test. Most of all, you get to be the parent they need, regardless of your co-parent.
While communicating with your co-parent is an effective form of shared parenting that is proven by countless studies, you may not have that type of relationship with your ex-spouse that allows for communication. You may have to rely on parallel parenting, in order to keep the peace between yourself and your co-parent.
While it may not be the most ideal of situations, you have the ability to adjust your divorce decree through modification as time passes.
You do not have to accept the alimony amount that you pay, the child support amount that you pay, and the amount of parenting time that you get as permanent fixtures of your life after your divorce is finalized. These aspects can be changed with the help of your family law attorney.
Your post-divorce life is not set in stone, just because the divorce occurred. As emotionally and financially depleting of a situation as it may have been, it does not define you and does not impede you from taking the necessary steps in moving on with your life.
While the circumstances may not always appear to be the best on the surface, they become brighter in the long-term. You have the ability to enter happier, healthier, and more functional relationships after your divorce is finalized. You can focus on yourself and become stronger for the experience.
Dan Pearce is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell Planning Partners. He has written countless pieces on MensDivorce.com, detailing the plight of men and fathers going through the divorce experience, as well as the issues seniors and their families experience throughout the estate planning journey on ElderCareLaw.com. Mr. Pearce has managed websites and helped create content, such as the Men’s Divorce Newsletter and the YouTube series, “Men’s Divorce Countdown.” He also has been a contributor on both the Men’s Divorce Podcast and ElderTalk with TuckerAllen.
Mr. Pearce assisted in fostering a Cordell Planning Partners practice area specific for Veterans, as they deal with the intricacies of their benefits while planning for the future. He also helped create the Cordell Planning Partners Resource Guide and the Cordell Planning Partners Guide to Alternative Residence Options, specific for seniors with questions regarding their needs and living arrangements.