After a divorce, you may feel a bit lost and in need of support. You may not have had the time to search for support during the process, due to how difficult and time-consuming it can be. It’s not easy to create the safety net of people who will be there for you in your time of need.
There is a level of politeness you have to navigate when creating a support group. Many people think to themselves “In terms of my marriage, how much information can I tell someone else?” Unfortunately, every marriage is unique, making every divorce unique, and thus, sharing the information is necessary, in order for them to be there for you in the way that you want.
That does not mean everything that occurred in your marriage, but enough information to help illustrate what occurred in your dysfunctional and unhappy marriage will help them be there for you when you need them.
Friendship and a sense of family
If they are a friend and have been paying attention to the events in your life, they already may be privy to what occurred in your marriage and are prepared to support you through the emotional hurdles you may run into. They can help you satiate the need to establish a sense of family after a divorce.
When you get married, your spouse becomes your family, so it stands to reason that when you get a divorce, that sense of family may be gone, especially if there were no children involved. Surrounding yourself with those can be there for you is important, because you may find yourself in situations with people who simply cannot.
The author of this Huffington Post column detailed their personal experience of going through a divorce without the support of loved ones. The parents repeatedly attempted to talk her out of her decision, even after she had made it.
They would recommend an alternative path, such as couples counseling, in order to avoid divorce and ask the author of the column to think of the children and to remember the work and commitment that marriage takes.
For the author of the column, it would take three years before her parents would grow to accept her decision to end a dysfunctional and unhappy relationship.
Contacting your attorney
If you are considering divorce as an option in your marriage, chances are that you already are actively putting in the work necessary to make the relationship function. If it is not functioning even after all of the work and commitment that you have put into it, it may be time to pursue other options and contact your family law attorney.
Your family law attorney will support your decision and help you find smart solutions to fit your unique situation during the divorce process. They have helped clients in the past going through a variety of difficulties related to divorce and are ready to assist you during this challenging time.
‘My family disapproves of my divorce’
When family rejects an upcoming or past divorce, chances are, they have not seen the challenging times. According to PsychCentral, they may not have seen the issues that have transpired between you and your ex. You and your ex may have done a good job of keeping them private, making their opposition to your announcement of a divorce seem reasonable to them.
They may have been invested in your former spouse. There are in-laws who are genuinely love their children’s spouses and form bonds with them, so when you come to them, informing them of your divorce, they become saddened by your decision, knowing that this means the end of their relationship with your spouse.
There is a chance that they may be afraid that they may lose contact with you. For some families, the wife helps keep track of birthdays and anniversaries and keeps your parents in the loop of many of the happenings in the immediate family. Therefore, when you divorce your wife, your parents may be afraid that this will close you off from them.
There’s also the chance that they are worried about a future child custody agreement. They may fear that they would miss out on the lives of their grandchildren, because they are not confident in your receiving your share of parenting time.
Another reason for an objection to your divorce to consider is religious or moral reasons. Many faiths, cultures, and ideologies have social teachings, which can pertain to marriage and divorce. Families can find themselves voicing opinions and taking stances, based on these faiths, cultures, and ideologies. This can cause families to become fragmented, which can take years to repair.
Having your family fragmented because of deeply held beliefs can make you feel isolated during the divorce experience. People who have always been in your corner are suddenly no longer, and you may not know what to do.
This is when you may search for your sense of family. The friends you surround yourself with, who are willing to be your shoulder to lean on during the divorce experience, can offer you that sentiment.
Circle of support
This is not discounting the impact of seeking professional support, in order to help combat the mental and emotional toll of the divorce experience, because you should. The benefits of a licensed mental health professional cannot be understated and can provide guidance in how to move forward.
However, they cannot fill the void that you may be seeking, in terms of a sense of family. Friends can. Work can. Your actual family can, if they are willing to be supportive. You need that circle of support that goes beyond the details of your unhappy and dysfunctional marriage and protects you from the risks that life after divorce can entail.
Dan Pearce is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell Planning Partners. He has written countless pieces on MensDivorce.com, detailing the plight of men and fathers going through the divorce experience, as well as the issues seniors and their families experience throughout the estate planning journey on ElderCareLaw.com. Mr. Pearce has managed websites and helped create content, such as the Men’s Divorce Newsletter and the YouTube series, “Men’s Divorce Countdown.” He also has been a contributor on both the Men’s Divorce Podcast and ElderTalk with TuckerAllen.
Mr. Pearce assisted in fostering a Cordell Planning Partners practice area specific for Veterans, as they deal with the intricacies of their benefits while planning for the future. He also helped create the Cordell Planning Partners Resource Guide and the Cordell Planning Partners Guide to Alternative Residence Options, specific for seniors with questions regarding their needs and living arrangements.