Divorce is an emotional experience, and you never know what emotions may surface during it. You may find yourself suffering from depression or anxiety and may be in need of a mental health professional, trained to guide you through the difficulties that you are facing. You may find yourself in a happier state, focused on your newfound freedom and the potential of post-divorce life.
You may look to reconnect with friends, despite only a select number of them willing to reciprocate and show support for you during this difficult time in your life. Whatever the complex emotional tapestry you may be feeling, they are unique to you and should be honored.
You may be in search of understanding, and while many may be willing to show you the understanding you are seeking, there are some who will not be so empathetic. Seeking empathy after your divorce is finalized requires knowing individuals or outlets willing to show you what you are looking for.
As badly as you may wish to unload some of the emotional baggage on those around you, you can only do so if they allow it to happen. They need to be willing to be there for you on the same emotional level as you are willing to be in front of them.
Your family law attorney
Divorce is a difficult time, full of times when you feel like you need to unburden yourself. If you choose to do that with your family law attorney, it needs to be understood that they are representing you and your best interests. Their primary concern is how the facts that you unburden them with affect your case and your future.
This is a good thing. In an emotionally vulnerable time like divorce, it is important to have a partner in your corner, representing your unique interests during a time when you may be too distraught from the breakdown of your marriage to think as rationally as you may need to think. You have someone there who understands what men and fathers need and what the outcome of the divorce means for your future.
While your family law attorney and your therapist may be able to help you in many respects, you still may seek the comfort of those closest to you. You may look to engage with your parents, siblings, or other members of your family and seek the understanding that you are looking for during this difficult time.
However, there are some issues that may arise with seeking family members as parts of your support system. If your case still is pending, confiding in them may put them in the legal spotlight with a possible subpoena, forcing them to reveal the bad facts against you and your case that you may have disclosed in private.
There also is the issue of judgment that forces many who are going through a divorce to pull back from seeking the counsel and comfort of their family during this challenging experience. Seeking the comforts of family members can sometimes signal to the family members that their opinions on the issue are just as valid as your own.
You may not want to deal with the amount or types of questions regarding the divorce, especially if there are bad facts that paint you in a negative light or if the family is from a particular religion or culture that does not see divorce as a valid option.
The best case scenario when speaking with your family members regarding your divorce is that they will be empathetic toward what you are going through and will be there for you during this difficult time in your life.
In addition to family members there are support groups out there that specialize in helping those who have gone through the divorce experience heal from the trauma of the situation. They help you combat any of the negative feelings or inclinations you may be experiencing in healthy ways and can alleviate the stress you may be experiencing through the discussion of common experiences.
It is natural to seek understanding for the end of a relationship, particularly with the commitment of marriage involved. You want to know that someone else knows what you are going through, and while the details of the end of your marriage may be different than others, the emotions of loss, pain, and anger may be more universal than you previous realized.
It is essential that you seek the support of others and find that empathy. You cannot allow these feelings to be bottled up inside or to be used to justify unhealthy and unwise behaviors. Even if you did not actively make the choice to end an unhappy and dysfunctional marriage, you still can make the active choice to put yourself first and seek help to what ails you.
Dan Pearce is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell Planning Partners. He has written countless pieces on MensDivorce.com, detailing the plight of men and fathers going through the divorce experience, as well as the issues seniors and their families experience throughout the estate planning journey on ElderCareLaw.com. Mr. Pearce has managed websites and helped create content, such as the Men’s Divorce Newsletter and the YouTube series, “Men’s Divorce Countdown.” He also has been a contributor on both the Men’s Divorce Podcast and ElderTalk with TuckerAllen.
Mr. Pearce assisted in fostering a Cordell Planning Partners practice area specific for Veterans, as they deal with the intricacies of their benefits while planning for the future. He also helped create the Cordell Planning Partners Resource Guide and the Cordell Planning Partners Guide to Alternative Residence Options, specific for seniors with questions regarding their needs and living arrangements.