When you get married, everything about your life can feel new and exciting. You are not quite used to it all, and for many, that includes living with someone and sharing possessions. The idiom, “What’s mine is yours,” becomes your truth, and you adjust to the newer aspects of your life.
Over time, these aspects are no longer new. They become the norm, and you forget that there was ever less than two cars parked in the garage or that your bank account ever had less than two incomes contributing to it. You are used to it all.
However, when marital discord creeps into the equation, it can send ripples into your life in unexpected ways. Suddenly, you are forced to think about a reality where you do not have the same amount of space to live, because you no longer can afford to live in the marital home, or that half of what you have accrued during the time you were married may no longer be there.
This can be a frightening dose of reality added to the emotional complexities involved with the disintegration of marriage. It can feel like you are being attacked from all perspectives, which then means you are forced to fight for yourself.
Rely on your attorney
This type of fight does not have to be fought alone. You need to contact a family law attorney who understands how testing the divorce process can be. They understand how the emotions of the situation do not always lead to the most logical of decisions and your need to have someone by your side who knows how uniquely challenging divorce can be for men and fathers.
It is difficult to imagine someone emotionally prepared to face the end of their marriage in writing, but when that day comes, you need to understand that if you do not take an active role in your divorce, it is your future, not your soon-to-be ex-spouse’s, that is on the line.
Communicate and fight
That means fighting for what you feel is yours. You need to communicate with your attorney as often as possible, making it clear what assets and possessions you desire to keep in your post-divorce life. While you may not be able to keep everything you want, your attorney needs to be made aware of your list of possessions and assets that you wish to keep, in order to maintain a focused and active approach toward your post-divorce future.
While you may have a complex tapestry of emotions toward your soon-to-be ex-spouse, your actions during the divorce process cannot reflect any loyalty that you still may feel toward them. For your sake and for the sake of your children, if you have them, it is vital for your life after your divorce that you fight for what you feel is yours.
Seek additional help
No one is saying that this type of fight is going to be easy. It is challenging, which is why it is so important that you do not enter this fight alone. Not only should you be relying on your family law attorney to represent your case during the divorce process, but you also should consider enlisting the aid of a mental health professional, who can offer their help, as you regain your mental and emotional health after the divorce is finalized.
While you may reject the assistance that a mental health professional can offer, it is important to remember that in order to avoid the conflict of your own emotions and how they may damage your case, the experience of a therapist can only assist you, as the divorce process winds down and the recovery process begins.
While the fight to keep possessions and assets may be long and may cost you a little extra in legal fees, if you feel that it is justified, then it is justified. You do not have to explain your actions to anyone, outside of your attorney. As long as you feel like the goal of maintaining what you have is worth the cost of the fight, then it is justified.
Dan Pearce is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell Planning Partners. He has written countless pieces on MensDivorce.com, detailing the plight of men and fathers going through the divorce experience, as well as the issues seniors and their families experience throughout the estate planning journey on ElderCareLaw.com. Mr. Pearce has managed websites and helped create content, such as the Men’s Divorce Newsletter and the YouTube series, “Men’s Divorce Countdown.” He also has been a contributor on both the Men’s Divorce Podcast and ElderTalk with TuckerAllen.
Mr. Pearce assisted in fostering a Cordell Planning Partners practice area specific for Veterans, as they deal with the intricacies of their benefits while planning for the future. He also helped create the Cordell Planning Partners Resource Guide and the Cordell Planning Partners Guide to Alternative Residence Options, specific for seniors with questions regarding their needs and living arrangements.