As difficult as it may be, this is not the end for you. Just because you experienced a divorce, does not mean your life suddenly ceases to have meaning or you are anything less than you.
You may not have a spouse anymore, but you have opportunities now that you are divorced that you previously did not when you were in an unhappy and dysfunctional marriage. These are opportunities that are unique to you and your situation, and while you may look at your situation as bleak and without much hope for improvement, you have to be able to say yes to the opportunities that the post-divorce life offers.
That starts with monitoring your case. Over time, your case may not reflect your circumstances, which is why you may need to contact your family law attorney, who can help you modify your divorce decree. You can have your alimony or child support lowered or even eliminated, depending on the individual circumstances.
Your individual circumstance can affect so much of what your life entails. Depending on the details of your divorce decree, you may find yourself more fortunate, in how much you can afford. You no longer have the luxury of two incomes affecting your finances, and many of your assets may no longer be in your possession.
However, you still may be able to afford a home or apartment that offers the comfort necessary to maintain a life, while still allowing you the opportunity to save money and recover from the financial hit that divorce causes.
No matter what the financial circumstances may be, you still have the opportunity to recover through saving. By changing how you think about the money-saving process, you can benefit and recoup the losses that you suffered financially.
With your finances in a better position, you can shift your focus toward being the best parent possible, if you have children. You have a chance to offer them a place they can think of as home. Whether you have joint custody or limited custody, you need to reinforce the point that you are their parent and that your children are not visiting. They are home, and you are their parent.
You need to accept the role as a divorced parent and constantly remind them how much you love them and will always be there for them. You need to accept that the house or apartment will be a permanent fixture for them and give them a bed and space to call their own.
In taking these steps and being an active parent to your child, you are helping in their transition, which will, in turn, help you accept the new normal.
Acceptance is important after divorce, and in your quest to establish a new normal in life after divorce, you may find yourself experiencing aspects of regret as a result of the loneliness that can come with no longer having someone by your side.
However, part of saying yes to the new opportunities that life after divorce can provide is saying yes to new relationships. While your previous marriage may not have worked out, you have the opportunity to meet someone new and start a whole new chapter in your life.
As intimidating as it may be to begin dating again, it is an experience that you should embrace. The adventure of dating may not always be the easiest, but you can take comfort in how many potential partners look at the fact that you previously were married as a positive, due to how willing you were to commit.
There also are so many different ways to meet a potential partner; maybe more than there previously were when you were last dating. Whether you choose to explore the world of dating apps or meeting someone through your own social circles, you have a wealth options to explore, in order to meet someone new. All you have to do is take advantage of them.
Forge a better life
Coincidentally, this also is what you have to do with life itself. Take advantage of your newly single life, and find happiness in what you can. Be the parent that your children need you to be, and take care of your finances.
In doing all of those things, you will be forging a better life than the one you previously had in your dysfunctional and unhappy marriage.
Dan Pearce is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell Planning Partners. He has written countless pieces on MensDivorce.com, detailing the plight of men and fathers going through the divorce experience, as well as the issues seniors and their families experience throughout the estate planning journey on ElderCareLaw.com. Mr. Pearce has managed websites and helped create content, such as the Men’s Divorce Newsletter and the YouTube series, “Men’s Divorce Countdown.” He also has been a contributor on both the Men’s Divorce Podcast and ElderTalk with TuckerAllen.
Mr. Pearce assisted in fostering a Cordell Planning Partners practice area specific for Veterans, as they deal with the intricacies of their benefits while planning for the future. He also helped create the Cordell Planning Partners Resource Guide and the Cordell Planning Partners Guide to Alternative Residence Options, specific for seniors with questions regarding their needs and living arrangements.
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