After your divorce, you may feel the inclination to retreat. You just went through the act of ending a commitment that was vowed to be lifetime. You may not want to interact with others, which can leave you feeling lonely and isolated. Your mental and emotional health can take a turn for the worse, putting your well-being in jeopardy.
In order to bring yourself outside of that darkness, you may consider getting of your comfort zone. When you are married, the routine of daily life can be a source of comfort. However, when the relationship begins to deteriorate, the normal becomes the discord, and that also can be something that you get used to.
When neither the comfort of a functional marriage, nor the chaos of a degenerating marriage are there as a constant normal and the normal becomes a void, it would be beneficial to try something new.
Outside your comfort zone
Life after divorce does not have to include a relationship-less version of your previous routine. You get to decide what your new life looks like, and it may benefit your mental and emotional health exploring new avenues.
Through stepping out of your comfort zone, you can find yourself experiencing meaningful and consequential personal growth, according to Psychology Today. Whether it is in your daily routine, your professional life, or in your relationships with other people, you can experience that positive change in your post-divorce life by trying something new.
As temping as it may be to fall back into the comfort of that routine, that comfort does not encourage the growth that you may need, in order to move forward with your life after divorce. Taking that step also is required to overcome the fear attached with exploring new aspects in post-divorce life.
Dealing with fear
There can be a substantial amount of fear involved in the divorce experience. You may experience fear in taking the first step in initiating the end of your marriage. You may experience fear as you wonder what went wrong in your relationship and whether or not you will ever be able to recover.
You may fear post-divorce parenting, due to the guilt of the situation. This can paralyze many otherwise active parents who worry about what the trauma of a parental divorce is doing to their children.
In order to overcome that fear, it can be beneficial to retrain your mind. If you think of the fear as something that your mind created, you have a better grasp on it. You created it, which means you have the ability to use it the way you want. This can be the motivation you need to step outside of your comfort zone and move on after your divorce is finalized.
When you see beyond the pain that your past divorce entailed, all you have is potential. Your post-divorce life is filled with nothing but potential. You can focus on yourself and making sure that your needs are met. You can be the active parent that your children deserve and forge a life that allows them to grow and flourish without being in a home filled with fighting and resentment.
Moving past setbacks
You may have to revisit aspects of your divorce at times, but through the assistance of your family law attorney, you can pursue modification of your divorce decree and adjust your alimony, child support, or your allotted parenting time without the crippling fear of your past life and past ways affecting any and all of the growth and progress that you have made.
Stepping out of your comfort zone and achieving personal growth is not without its setbacks. You may not always have the success you desire, or it may take longer than you would like. However, through effort, you can achieve results and cultivate the life that you want that is not affected by your previous divorce.
Dan Pearce is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell Planning Partners. He has written countless pieces on MensDivorce.com, detailing the plight of men and fathers going through the divorce experience, as well as the issues seniors and their families experience throughout the estate planning journey on ElderCareLaw.com. Mr. Pearce has managed websites and helped create content, such as the Men’s Divorce Newsletter and the YouTube series, “Men’s Divorce Countdown.” He also has been a contributor on both the Men’s Divorce Podcast and ElderTalk with TuckerAllen.
Mr. Pearce assisted in fostering a Cordell Planning Partners practice area specific for Veterans, as they deal with the intricacies of their benefits while planning for the future. He also helped create the Cordell Planning Partners Resource Guide and the Cordell Planning Partners Guide to Alternative Residence Options, specific for seniors with questions regarding their needs and living arrangements.