When you are married or even in a relationship, you are a part of a collective. You are perceived as part of a couple, and that perception can even extend to your own individuality. With how much that can be comingled, such as bank accounts, credit cards, or living space, when you are married or in a long-term relationship, it is easy to see why others may assign your spouse as a part of who you are.
However, when cracks begin to form in the marriage and you no longer are seen in public as often or at all with your spouse, it can start you down the path of finally being your own person, outside of your ending marriage.
This also is the time when you are going to need to contact a family law attorney, in order to help you navigate the ins and outs of the divorce process. Given how challenging and emotional the experience can be, you need someone by your side who will fight for you and your future.
Your future is what matters here, and you need to put yourself in the best position possible to move forward with life after your marriage. That means getting into the correct head space, which can be difficult for many who go through a particularly tumultuous break-up and divorce.
Many find themselves unable to think clearly, which causes them to make irrational decisions without thinking about the long-term effects of their actions. They believe that irrational spending or jumping into a new relationship will bring them the greatest amount of joy after just experiencing the greatest amount of stress during their divorce.
While in some cases that may be true, more often than not, it is not the case. Fleeting happiness will not serve you long-term and can cause irreparable harm if severe enough.
In order to get out of that head space and forge your own path without making reactionary decisions, it may be beneficial to contact a mental health professional, who can provide the necessary perspective and give you the tools you need to be your own person after your divorce is finalized.
Being your own person
Whether you are going through a divorce or not, being your own person is not an easy task. There are so many people in your life who may rely on you, and an equal amount of people in your life that you rely on that it can feel like your very existence is defined by your relationships.
You may be so dependent on the people in your life that you can feel out of control. You may find yourself easily intimidated by those you have relied on during your life, and during the divorce process, this can be hazardous.
You may inadvertently agree to a decree that does not have your best interests at heart, which is why you need to rely on the experience of your family law attorney. They understand how difficult this time is for you, and they can act in the best interests of your future, even when you cannot.
Taking the next step
Even with your family law attorney’s help, you still need to be able to do something with the opportunity ahead of you. Even though you may have lost a substantial amount in your divorce, it does not make recovery outside of the realm of possibilities.
You have the chance to stand on your own two feet and make a life that has nothing to do with the unhappiness and dysfunction of your marriage. You have the opportunity to maintain balance within your life, and in future relationships, you have the opportunity to avoid having your identity being swept up into the collective. You have the chance of being yourself.
In being your own person after your divorce is finalized, you have the opportunity to reestablish your self-confidence and forge your own path. Recovery can be difficult, and you may encounter setbacks along the way. However, these challenges and setbacks are no reason to not give it a shot. You have to put forth the energy and effort to making the changes necessary to stand on your own two feet, in order to move on from your divorce.
Dan Pearce is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell Planning Partners. He has written countless pieces on MensDivorce.com, detailing the plight of men and fathers going through the divorce experience, as well as the issues seniors and their families experience throughout the estate planning journey on ElderCareLaw.com. Mr. Pearce has managed websites and helped create content, such as the Men’s Divorce Newsletter and the YouTube series, “Men’s Divorce Countdown.” He also has been a contributor on both the Men’s Divorce Podcast and ElderTalk with TuckerAllen.
Mr. Pearce assisted in fostering a Cordell Planning Partners practice area specific for Veterans, as they deal with the intricacies of their benefits while planning for the future. He also helped create the Cordell Planning Partners Resource Guide and the Cordell Planning Partners Guide to Alternative Residence Options, specific for seniors with questions regarding their needs and living arrangements.