When you are going through the divorce process, it is important to monitor how much money is exiting your bank account at all times. Given the fact that your soon-to-be ex-spouse most likely has access to the same funds that you do, you may need to limit authorized users or open a single account for yourself.
This can be challenging. The emotions of the situation can make things difficult, and as upset and distraught as you may be, you may not necessarily want your soon-to-be ex-spouse to be completely broke. The question is: How much is enough for them to sustain a life for themselves?
Additionally, you also have to factor in what could be considered as a fair division. Just as you would not want your soon-to-be ex-spouse to take all of the financial assets for themselves during the divorce process, you should not want to take everything for yourself either, especially when elements like alimony or child support are in play.
This is why it is so important to have a family law attorney who understands the interest of men and fathers and knows how to navigate them through the ins and outs of the divorce process, in order to ensure the best future possible for them and their children.
Separating the assets
Planning for a future without your soon-to-be ex-spouse may be a new venture. You always believed that they would be a part of your future, and you most likely planned accordingly, making the end of your marriage all the more devastating.
However, the emotional fallout of the situation is not limited to internal anguish. The divorce process has to untangle the lives of two individuals who planned legally, financially, emotionally, and martially to spend their lives together, utilizing the guidelines of the state and court.
Therefore, the question of whether or not you or your soon-to-be ex-spouse has enough financial assets to get by may be moot. The design of the divorce process and the gender stereotypes that still pervade the family court system may influence the division of assets, leaving you in a financially compromised position.
This can leave you needing to cut some costs in your life. Aspects, like where you live or what type of car you drive, are places where you can make more significant cuts, but that does not negate the importance of cutting back elsewhere.
Your spending habits can affect your road to post-divorce financial recovery, and while the results of the divorce may have lowered your standard of living, you have the opportunity of recovering if you choose to do what is necessary.
Emotions of the situation
The idea that you do not want your ex-spouse to have anything is rooted in the emotions of your unhappy and dysfunctional marriage. If you are a parent, you do not want to see your co-parent in poverty, because your shared children do not benefit from the financial downfall of the other parent. Similarly, your co-parent should not want your financial destruction through the unrealistic demands of alimony and child support amounts that far exceed feasibility.
Even if you do not have children, it may be beneficial to exhibit some level of compassion during the divorce experience. As cynical as you may be, regarding the end of your dysfunctional and unhappy marriage, the feeling you had when you decided to end the relationship may no longer dictate the feelings you have regarding your soon-to-be ex-spouse. This may lead to the possibility of mediation, allowing you a better opportunity to secure a more stable future.
Prospect of mediation
Whether it is formal or informal mediation, the process gives both parties the opportunity to go into a discussion with realistic goals and expectations of what they want and what they are willing to part with in the divorce. While it encourages a sense of trust between soon-to-be ex-spouses, it is vital that you end the process, making sure that the agreements made are in writing.
While discussing assets that you believe to be yours by right can be difficult, it allows you exhibit maturity and to compartmentalize your feelings, giving you the chance to put your future first and ahead of your ex-spouse. If you allow your feelings regarding your ex-spouse to cloud the process, impeding progress, you may not have as easy of a time recovering from the divorce process.
Dan Pearce is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell Planning Partners. He has written countless pieces on MensDivorce.com, detailing the plight of men and fathers going through the divorce experience, as well as the issues seniors and their families experience throughout the estate planning journey on ElderCareLaw.com. Mr. Pearce has managed websites and helped create content, such as the Men’s Divorce Newsletter and the YouTube series, “Men’s Divorce Countdown.” He also has been a contributor on both the Men’s Divorce Podcast and ElderTalk with TuckerAllen.
Mr. Pearce assisted in fostering a Cordell Planning Partners practice area specific for Veterans, as they deal with the intricacies of their benefits while planning for the future. He also helped create the Cordell Planning Partners Resource Guide and the Cordell Planning Partners Guide to Alternative Residence Options, specific for seniors with questions regarding their needs and living arrangements.
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