The dissolution of a marriage is a very difficult time emotionally for many men, which makes it easy to for men to make mistakes in divorce proceedings. You can avoid these blunders, though. Take a look at some of the most common mistakes men make in divorce:
Being In Denial For Too Long
If your spouse announces she wants a divorce, take her seriously. It’s common for men to think something will simply “blow over,” but it’s been shown that up to 75% of divorces are initiated by the woman, not the man.
This is one of the worst mistakes men make in divorce, because it can lead to other problems, and a much more difficult divorce in the end.
Not Consulting With A Divorce Lawyer
This may go along with “denial,” but if your wife announces she wants a divorce, get a lawyer — and that means your own lawyer. You’ll need someone to fight for you if things should get contentious, and you won’t be thinking clearly at this time.
Your lawyer can be an objective professional, fighting for you and for your rights. You’ll be glad you did it later even if everything is a blur right now or you think you can’t afford a divorce lawyer. One of the biggest mistakes men make in divorce is when they don’t hire a lawyer to advise them of their rights.
Fighting Through The Kids
Under no circumstances should you bring your children into the divorce. Your divorce is going to be hard enough on your children as it is, and one of the biggest mistakes men make in divorce is to bring the kids into it.
Even if your spouse does try to bring the children into it, you should not try and use the kids as messengers. This can actually bode well for you when it comes to child custody decisions since the reasonable, non-confrontational parent is regarded highly by judges.
One of the biggest mistakes men make in divorce is simply to “cave” early in the proceedings and let the spouse have anything she wants, including primary child custody, first dibs on the finances and property, and so on.
You’re numb right now, and that’s understandable. You may feel like being anything but fully involved in the process, and you may simply want to think this is just going to go away if you ignore it.
Don’t. you’ll regret it later once the smoke has cleared and you’re left in ruins. Get a lawyer, and start the proceedings on your own terms even if you don’t want to.
As soon as you know a divorce is coming, go to the bank, set up a separate account and have your paychecks deposited into that account. Be reasonable about this; your spouse is going to need something to take care of herself and the children as applicable, so you don’t simply want to “clean everything out.”
The courts will also frown on this, and it will look like abandonment if you’ve left the mother of your children with nothing. But you can absolutely protect yourself and your financial future by taking money or other financial resources you’ve got coming to you out of joint accounts and into your own separate account.