Joseph Cordell, head of the men’s divorce law firm Cordell & Cordell, wrote a book identifying “The 10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce.” If you and your spouse are split up and divorce is a possibility looming in the future, you want to make yourself aware of these mistakes so that you can avoid them.
Educate yourself and learn from others’ mistakes, and you can come through this stressful time in your life with as few repercussions as possible.
Common (And Avoidable) Mistakes Men Make In Divorce
What is the first thing most men do when their wives – or themselves – want a divorce? Move out. Once the decision has been made, it’s hard to face your spouse every day. You may start feeling like a stranger in your own home, which is natural. The air seems hard to breathe, and carrying on a normal conversation is not possible.
Moving out is not a good idea. First of all, it will severely diminish your chances at obtaining child custody as a judge will interpret your move out of the house as voluntarily moving away from your children.
You will also be losing control over household expenses. Not only will you have to pay for an apartment or other living arrangements, you will likely be paying taxes on the house along with maintenance expenses. Additionally, it will diminish the strength of your case because it appears as though you do not care about what goes on in your household, or what happens in your children’s lives on a day-to-day basis.
Do not respond to your wife’s threats to deny visitation. While it is tempting to fire back with your own threats, refrain from doing so. Be the grown-up in the situation.
Giving In To “Keep The Peace”
Your wife may have sprung the idea of divorce at you out of the blue, and now you are totally bewildered – and hurt. Being passive and agreeing to your wife’s wishes is one of the biggest mistakes men make in divorce.
If your wife is manipulative and gunning to take your money, the children, the house and everything else you have, she will try her best. Do not agree to anything until you are thinking straight and the shock of divorce has worn off.
Only when you are thinking clearly can you make smart decisions, so don’t “give away the farm” when you are an emotional wreck.
In nearly every marriage, each spouse finds faults or flaws with the other. Once you and your wife have determined that divorce is the answer, don’t start flinging accusations and bad-mouthing her personality flaws, looks, weight, etc.
Unless you want to go to court and fight an all-out battle, it’s best to compromise and negotiate in a calm, adult manner when possible. Even if your wife cheated on you or wronged you in other ways that make you despise her, avoid adding fuel to the fire.
Trusting Your Wife With Your Money
While you may feel your soon-to-be ex would never take you to the cleaners, you never know what people will do in times of rage or emotional upheaval. Separate the bank account; take half of your checking and/or savings accounts and open a new account in your name only.
Spouses are each one-half of a marriage, so you are entitled to at least half of the money. You never want to leave your wife broke, especially when children are involved. But at the same time, you must protect your own interests.
Learn from these mistakes men make in divorce so you won’t be the next victim.