It is commonly accepted that the odds of your marriage surviving are around the same as a coin toss. With how common divorce has become, a recent trend has been on the rise: Throwing divorce parties to celebrate the end of an unhappy marriage and rejoice at the opportunity for a fresh start. While divorce may seem like an odd occasion to celebrate, it really makes a lot of sense — if you go about it for the right way and for the right reasons.
We celebrate so many different events throughout the course of our lives, so why shouldn’t a significant occurrence such as divorce get the same treatment? Ending a marriage is a long, grueling and life-changing event. The process is loaded with anger, depression and stress. Once everything is finally concluded — well, at least the first round — it can leave you feeling hollow and miserable.
However, it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way. Throwing some kind of kickoff to the next step in your life can help you gain closure to what was and help you avoid becoming overwhelmed by all of the negative emotions that inevitably follow divorce.
Not only can divorce parties be a fun way to announce to your friends and the world that you are untethered once again, there are plenty of cathartic advantages as well.
First of all, prior to the divorce (possibly for years or even decades), you have likely been weathering a rough relationship. Even if divorce wasn’t necessarily what you wanted, it should come as a deeply felt relief that you are no longer stuck in that unfortunate situation. This alone is worth celebrating, as you can now move on and find something that truly makes you happy.
Additionally, maintaining a healthy social life is extremely important for moving on. Divorce parties are a chance to get together with the friends and family who supported you throughout the process, thank them for caring and get back into the swing of hanging out with buddies instead of your former spouse.
You probably have plenty of friends who fell by the wayside after you were married, and this is your chance to get back into those social circles. Instead of resigning yourself into a depression and spending every weekend with your Xbox and Uncle Jack, you can find yourself accepted back into groups of your forever-single or divorced friends to help keep you from slipping into misery.
Divorce parties also afford the opportunity for a purging of your old life. Now that the decree is signed, you are left to rebuild yourself in a new direction. This can be a very symbolic event and is a great way to release much of the pent-up stress that built up throughout the divorce process. Why dwell on the past when you can celebrate the future with the people who had your back?
Finally, just as bachelor parties are thrown as thrown as a final hurrah to single life, it only makes sense to throw yourself a party when you shuck the fetters of marriage to rejoin the single ranks. While you should avoid jumping into any relationships and probably even one-night stands until some time has passed, there are still plenty of things you couldn’t do while married that you are now free to enjoy.
Keep in mind, however, that the whole purpose of divorce parties is to focus on the positives of moving on with your life instead of mourning the past. This means to avoid themes and entertainment that revolve around disparaging the ex. Games, toasts and party favors that drudge up painful memories or anger completely contradict the objective of gaining closure. Instead, try to focus on the positives of being divorced: You will be happier than staying in a dysfunctional marriage, you gain independence, you can learn from mistakes, but most importantly, you are single once again and get a fresh start in life — an envious position to many.
Mat Camp is a former Lexicon Services Online Editor, who focused on providing a comprehensive look into all aspects of the divorce experience. On MensDivorce.com, he concentrated on issues, such as parenting time, custodial rights, mediation, the division of assets, and so much more.
Mr. Camp used the wealth of experience of Cordell & Cordell attorneys to bring tangible answers to reader questions in Ask a Lawyer articles, as well as offer a step by step process through the divorce experience with Cordell & Cordell Co-Founder and Principal Partner Joseph E. Cordell in Divorce 101: A Guide for Men.
Mr. Camp used thorough research to highlight the challenging reality that those who go through divorce or child custody issues face. He helped foster the continued success of the Men’s Divorce Survival Guide, the Men’s Divorce Podcast, and the Men’s Divorce YouTube series “Attorney Bites.”