Are you a man who is getting a divorce? If so, you might be getting divorce advice for men from everyone — whether they be friends who have been through it themselves, or from professionals who want to help you through the process.
It can be confusing, since advice can be coming from every direction, but there really is some “best divorce advice” you can follow, to make the process as painless as possible.
Divorce advice: Take precautions now
If you just decided you’re going to get a divorce, it can be very tempting to simply think things are going to be “okay,” and that you and your soon-to-be-ex spouse will work together smoothly. “Trust me,” she says.
However, perhaps the best piece of divorce advice for men is that you need to protect yourself as soon as possible — especially your finances.
Move important documents and possessions you want to keep out of the house.
Rent a storage locker and a safe deposit box, and make copies of all important documents, such as the title to your house, any vehicles, etc. Move any possessions that are clearly yours and that you want to keep into storage, and put the copies of the important documents (wills and trusts, etc.) into a safe deposit box at your bank. This is among the best divorce advice for men because it protects you in the event you are forced by the court to leave the marital home.
Divorce advice: separate finances ASAP
As soon as you can, take any joint accounts you have and separate them into personal accounts. For example, you and your spouse may agree that you can take half of the money out of a joint account and put it into an account that’s just in your name.
It’s important to note, however, that it is not good divorce advice to simply “freeze your spouse out” when it comes to finances. Don’t take all of your finances out and put them in your name. Instead, do what seems fair, such as just taking half, and leaving the rest for your spouse intact.
The judge will likely not look favorably upon you if you take all of the money away from your wife and children (assuming the children are staying with your spouse), even though it may seem like a good “gotcha” moment. The judge will likely make you put it back, for one thing, but it also makes you look bad to simply leave your wife and children with no financial support.
You can, however, protect yourself by taking at least some of your finances out and putting them in your name so that your spouse can’t leave you high and dry, either.
Divorce Advice: Get your own divorce lawyer
Even in the most amicable of divorce, it’s a good idea for you to have your own representation and for your wife to have her own representation. Among the advice you can get is that you need to protect yourself at all times, including in court.
It’s tempting to simply say, “She can have whatever she wants,” but you really want someone who’s objective on your side to make sure your interests are protected. Even if you don’t think so now, there will come a time when you wish you had had this protection, so make sure you have legal counsel before proceedings go any further.